Can you help me with my oral skills? I would love to be able to satisfy a woman orally.

Q: Would you be able to help me with my oral skills? I would love to be able to satisfy a woman orally, but feel that I'm not doing it right, or perhaps I need more practice.

A: The key to good anything is skill, but in intimacy it is mostly presence. Presence allows you the ability to read your partner’s cues and respond in a way that promotes more pleasure, which is the ultimate goal. 

I can teach you to explore and respond to her pleasure, show you where the extra sensitive spots are and the different sensations that you can try ‘for her pleasure’. There are standard moves however, every woman is different, and every time you are with her she is different too, depending on mood, hormones and such.

The key to being a good lover oral or otherwise is to be present, connected and responsive to her pleasure.

I prefer to show you with your partner. Otherwise, I offer a session where you experience presence, connection and how to read a partner’s body, and how to get her to communicate what she likes, with me as your partner, with clear professional boundaries. I also have Betty, my ‘Pussy Puppet,’ where I can show you anatomically and instruct you in various techniques.

Until then, think of it as discovery. Try saying her name into her pussy. Use your tongue - slow, fast, hard, soft. Try the alphabet with your tongue and with sound. Try with a finger or without. Listen for her breathing, her sounds. Let her body speak to you. The key is presence and curiosity, the goal is pleasure, the result may or may not be orgasm.