Q: I’m the one always initiating sex. In all the years that we have been together she never reaches for me. When we do have sex she never tells me what she wants. We argue more and I find myself less attracted to her. I don’t feel desirable and I worry about our future. Can you help us?
A: It makes sense that you would feel less attracted. You want to feel desired, wanted and delicious. There can be a lot of reasons she is uncomfortable communicating about sex, for a lot of people the word ‘sex’ is triggering. It’s also possible that she doesn't know how or what she wants. Whatever the reason, initiating with the Candy Dish gives her a new, playful, simple wordless way to bypass negative self talk and empower her in a way that is not overwhelming her. Be sure to have a designated 'date night' and on that day let her define which jellybeans mean which treat. You can always eat it and start all over again. Green jellybeans might mean a foot massage followed by a long, slow, sticky, lollipop. Got Candy!?
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