How Can I Increase My Wife’s Desire and Bring Back Intimacy?
Q: Dear #AskAmyColor
Is there any hope for my wife’s libido?
A: If your wife has low libido and you're feeling rejected, frustrated, or stuck, you’re not alone. Many men in long-term relationships face this issue, but the good news is—desire can be rekindled.
The biggest mistake men make? Thinking desire should happen “naturally.” In reality, desire is not spontaneous—it’s created. Instead of waiting for her to “get in the mood,” you can actively spark intimacy in a way that works for both of you.
4 Proven Ways to Increase Her Libido (Without Pressure)
1. Stop Calling It “Sex” → Call It Sensual Pleasure
Many women associate “sex” with pressure, expectations, or a goal.
Instead, reframe intimacy as sensual pleasure—a shared experience, not just penetration.
Some couples call it "heart time" or "us time"—find a term that feels good to both of you.
2. Activate Her Sensual Body with a “Huddle”
Desire is not just in the mind—it starts in the body.
A simple way to awaken pleasure? The Huddle Sound: "Mmm..."
Science shows that this sound stimulates relaxation and pleasure, helping her shift from “not in the mood” to feeling receptive.
3. Make a Plan → Schedule the Desire
Spontaneity is great, but anticipation is the best aphrodisiac.
Just like you make dinner reservations, set time for intimacy—this gives her space to look forward to it.
Example: "On Wednesdays, we huddle in the living room. On Saturdays, we huddle in the bedroom."
4. Touch Her The Right Way (STOP These 4 Bad Touches!)
Are you guilty of these?
• Rubbing her like an Aladdin’s lamp (wishing for magic)
• Patting her like an old couch (too casual)
• Massaging with too much pressure (making her tense)
• Touching like she’s just an object (no connection)
Instead, use intentional touch—like holding a basketball, using your fingertips to send and receive connection.
Ready to Bring Back the Passion?
The Intimacy Game Plan is my proven program that helps couples go from roommates to playmates—no awkward therapy, no endless talking. Just real-world, practical skills that work.
Book a private call with me today. Let’s create your game plan!